When Your Brain Feels Like a Battleground: A Teen Guide to Understanding Anxiety
Anxiety can feel different for everyone. For some people, it's a tightness in the chest or a blocked throat. For others, it shows up as irritability, exhaustion, numbness, or a sense that something is just...off.
When I work with clients, sometimes a very helpful first step in treating anxiety is simply being able to visualize what their anxiety looks like in their body. It has been described to me as a purple balloon, a tangled web of red cords, a lumpy green rock, a cloud of black exclamation points, and so many other imaginative things. However it shows up for you, anxiety is real, and having it does not mean that you are broken in any way.
Many teens in particular don’t even realize they’re dealing with anxiety. They might just feel like they can't relax, get angry easily, zone out, avoid people, or obsess over tasks and social interactions. Some might retreat into their phones or games, not for fun, but to escape the constant pressure inside. Others might feel physical symptoms—neck pain, stomach aches, trouble sleeping—with no clear explanation.
That’s because, despite popular sentiment, anxiety really isn’t just in your head. It shows up in your body, your thoughts, your relationships, and your behaviors. And when it sticks around long enough, it can start to feel like your brain is a battleground.
Your Mind as a Battleground
Experiencing anxiety can feel like you're at war with yourself. You might be battling thoughts that tell you you're not good enough, not safe, not doing enough, or not lovable. The scary part? These thoughts feel like they come from all of you. And it can be overwhelming to feel like you're your own worst enemy.
But what if those thoughts and feelings aren’t your enemies? What if they’re coming from overwhelmed parts of you that need understanding and support? Like a soldier who’s been on high alert for too long, these parts may need rest, connection, and a sense of safety.
From Survival Mode to Self-Connection
When your brain feels like a battleground, it's likely you're stuck in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode. These are natural survival responses that helped you get through something hard. But sometimes we unconsciously start to use those responses to all stresses, and they don’t always serve you in daily life. Therapy can help you start identifying these patterns, connecting the dots, and shifting from survival mode into something more peaceful and empowering.
A big part of that is understanding the internal voices or parts that come up with anxiety. Maybe one part of you is hyper-critical, another wants to shut down, and another is desperate to feel in control. I help teens learn to recognize these parts not as flaws, but as protectors who need a new job. When these parts can start talking to each other—instead of fighting—real healing begins.
“Here’s what I want you to know: There might be things wrong in your life, but there is nothing wrong with you. You are not defective. You are not too much. You’re a whole person who probably hasn’t had the right support yet.”
“Here's what I want you to know: There might be things wrong in your life, but there is nothing wrong with you. You are not defective. You are not too much. You're a whole person who probably hasn't had the right support yet.” - Gabriel Gilbert Lurie, AMFT
What Helps (And What Usually Doesn’t)
It’s okay to zone out on YouTube or scroll through your feed. That’s not inherently bad. The problem comes when those are your only coping tools. Instead, we want to add more options: getting outside, moving your body, creating art, journaling, talking to a friend, connecting with a pet, taking a hot shower, jumping in a cold pool, listening to music that matches the mood that you want to get into. You don’t have to quit your current habits—you just need to expand your toolbox.
And if you're telling yourself, "Something is wrong with me because I feel this way all the time"? Here's what I want you to know: There might be things wrong in your life, but there is nothing wrong with you. You are not defective. You are not too much. You're a whole person who probably hasn't had the right support yet.
Therapy is one place where you can start to receive that support. You can talk about anything in the room with no judgment. We don’t have to focus only on the bad stuff—in fact, focusing on building good things into your life can sometimes be the most powerful change of all.
I’ve Been There, Too
I know this because I’ve lived it. I spent years with a brain that felt like a battleground. From middle school through my twenties, I went through phases of such intense anxiety that I would shut down completely—sometimes becoming almost nonverbal with the people that loved me the most. I could function and mask just find around people that were more distant from me, but the people I was the closest to couldn’t even recognize me sometimes. The turning point wasn’t learning how to fight those feelings harder. It was learning how to listen to what they were trying to say. To give myself what I actually needed. To add more of what was good.
I don’t do that perfectly now, but I’m much happier than where I started. And I believe you can get there, too.
If any of this sounds familiar, I’d love to talk. You don’t have to commit to anything—just a free 20-minute consultation to see if therapy might help.
You don’t have to keep fighting yourself. You just have to learn how to listen.
Summary: When Your Brain Feels Like a Battleground
This blog post speaks directly to teens struggling with anxiety. Using metaphors of battle and inner conflict, it helps readers understand that anxiety is a normal (if overwhelming) reaction to stress, trauma, or disconnection. It explores how anxiety shows up in the body and mind, and how therapy can help teens make peace with their internal world, not by fighting their anxiety, but by understanding and integrating it.
FAQ: Teen Anxiety and Therapy
Q: How do I know if I’m experiencing anxiety?
A: Anxiety can look like physical discomfort (tight chest, headaches, stomach issues), emotional overwhelm, constant worry, irritability, or checking out completely. If you feel like you're always "on edge," it's worth talking to someone.
Q: What if I don’t want to talk about my feelings?
A: You don’t have to dive into the deep end on day one. Therapy is about building trust at your own pace. Sometimes, just showing up is enough to start.
Q: I feel like I’m broken. Can therapy really help?
A: You're not broken. Anxiety might be making things harder than they need to be, but therapy can help you understand it, manage it, and eventually reduce it. Real progress is possible.
Q: What if I’m using social media, gaming, substances, or Netflix to cope?
A: That’s okay—coping is coping. Therapy isn’t about taking those things away, but about adding new tools so you have more choices. I want to meet you wherever you are at and we can go from there.
Q: What happens in therapy for anxiety?
A: We explore the different parts of you that are overwhelmed, scared, or angry. We help those parts work together better. We also experiment with new habits and experiences that can bring relief.
Q: Is anxiety something I’ll deal with forever?
A: Maybe, maybe not. Many people experience huge relief over time, and even if anxiety shows up again later, you’ll be better equipped to handle it.
Q: Can I bring this up even if I don’t know how to talk about it?
A: Absolutely. You don’t have to have the right words. That’s what therapy helps you find.
