IFIO · Intimacy from the Inside Out · Hermosa Beach & online
IFS Couples Therapy for the Fight You Keep Having
One of you pushes, one of you goes quiet, and nothing gets solved. IFIO helps you both hear what's underneath, so you can stop having it.
Lisa Chen, LMFT · Wharton · IFIO training staff
Hermosa Beach or online in California · Published fees
What changes with IFIO?
You stop having the same fight. Each of you learns to notice the part that takes over, find the hurt it's guarding, and say that instead.
- 1
Map the cycle
Name the parts on each side, and how they set each other off.
- 2
Turn toward yourself
Notice what's happening in you, not only in your partner.
- 3
Find what’s underneath
Go slowly toward the fear the protector is guarding.
- 4
Speak for it
Say it plainly, with your partner listening. Repair starts here.
Your IFIO therapist
Lisa Chen, LMFT
Lisa founded Lisa Chen & Associates Therapy and leads the practice's IFIO couples work. Before becoming a therapist she worked in corporate finance and on Wall Street, and she often works with couples where one or both partners carry demanding careers. She sees couples at the Hermosa Beach office, 2615 Pacific Coast Hwy, and online across California.
- IFIO, highest levelOn the training staff, teaching other couples therapists the method
- IFS, Level 2Internal Family Systems
- Gottman Method, Level 2The skills work alongside the deeper work
“IFIO is not about fixing your partner or following scripted communication techniques. It’s about discovering what’s happening inside of you, so that you can show up in your relationship with more clarity and compassion.”Lisa Chen, LMFT, founder
IFS couples therapy questions
What is IFS couples therapy (IFIO)?
IFS couples therapy, also called Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO), applies Internal Family Systems to relationships. Developed by Toni Herbine-Blank, it helps each partner notice the protective part that takes over in a fight, understand what it guards, and speak for it calmly so the other partner can hear it.
What changes with IFIO?
You stop having the same fight. Instead of your sharp or silent part meeting your partner's, each of you learns to notice that part rising, find the hurt it's guarding, and say that instead. The feeling is the same; the conversation is different, and the practical problem underneath gets solved.
How is IFIO different from the Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method focuses on the patterns between partners and teaches skills for conflict and repair. IFIO focuses on what happens inside each partner that drives those patterns. At Lisa Chen & Associates Therapy we use both: Gottman for assessment and skills, IFIO for the deeper work when skills alone aren't enough.
Who offers IFIO couples therapy at your practice?
Lisa Chen, LMFT, leads the practice's IFIO couples work. She is trained in Intimacy from the Inside Out at the Experienced level, is on the IFIO training staff, and is Level 2 trained in both IFS and the Gottman Method. She sees couples in Hermosa Beach and online across California.
What happens in an IFIO session?
Your therapist helps you map a recent fight and name the parts that showed up on each side. Each of you then turns inward to notice what you feel, finds what that part protects, and says it in plain words while your partner listens. Sessions are structured and move at a pace both partners can handle.
What if only one partner wants to do IFIO?
Couples work starts when both partners have agreed to come, and we don't meet with one partner alone as part of couples therapy. If your partner isn't ready, you can begin individual IFS therapy with us, which often changes how you show up in the relationship, and couples work can start later.
Can we do IFIO as an intensive instead of weekly sessions?
Yes. Couples who are working against a date, or who want more than a 50-minute weekly session, can book a half-day, full-day or two-day couples intensive with Lisa Chen in Hermosa Beach or online. Fees are published on the couples intensives page.
More for couples: Couples therapy · Couples intensives · IFS for individuals · Premarital counseling