Imago relationship therapy · Hermosa Beach · Online in California
Imago Therapy in Los Angeles for Couples Who Feel Unheard
You've explained it three different ways and it still doesn't land. Imago therapy slows the conversation down so each of you is heard before anyone tries to fix anything, and it looks at what the fight keeps touching underneath.
Online anywhere in California, or in person in Hermosa Beach. Sessions with Lisa Chen are $425 to $500. We reply within one business day.
- A structured dialogueNot a venting session, and not a debate
- Weekly or intensiveWeekly sessions or a concentrated couples intensive
- Published feesNo surprises on cost
Imago relationship therapy is a couples therapy developed by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. It starts from the idea that frustrations with a partner often echo older hurts, usually from childhood, and it teaches a structured way of talking called the Imago Dialogue, where each partner is heard and understood before anyone tries to solve anything. Lisa Chen & Associates Therapy offers Imago therapy in Hermosa Beach and online across California with Lisa Chen, LMFT, who is Imago trained. Sessions with Lisa are $425 to $500, and the first 20-minute consultation is free.
Start here
What is Imago relationship therapy?
Imago is Latin for image. Hendrix used the word for the unconscious picture each of us carries of the people who raised us, the good parts and the hard ones. His idea was that we tend to pick partners who feel familiar, and familiar includes old pain.
You don't have to buy the theory to use the method. Here is what it comes down to.
Why this person, why this fight
The same argument can keep coming back because it touches something older than the argument.
Conflict is information
A complaint usually points at a need. Imago listens for the need, not just the complaint.
Safety comes first
One person speaks at a time. No interrupting, no defending, no fixing. That is what makes the hard things sayable.
Understanding comes before solving
Before you ask for anything, you show you understood. Most couples have never had a conversation that works that way, and it changes what the fight is about. We practice it in the room until it's yours.
What it looks for
Under the complaint
Most fights start with a complaint. Imago asks what's underneath it. Pick the one that sounds most like your house.
- What gets said
“You never listen to me.”
- The feeling underneath
What I say doesn't matter to you.
- An old story it can echo
A kid who talked at the dinner table while the adults looked at their plates.
- What the dialogue asks for
Could you put down what you're doing and look at me for the first minute when I tell you something?
Your version will be different. These are examples of how a pattern can work, not a diagnosis, and not every fight has a root in childhood. Sometimes it's just a hard week. It also matters how the complaint lands: the same sentence can touch an old sore spot in your partner, and that's usually when things escalate.
What it looks like
The Imago Dialogue, step by step
Mia and Dev, a Tuesday night, a phone at dinner. Watch how it usually goes, then the same moment with the dialogue. Tap a step to jump to it.
Tuesday, 7:40 p.m.
An illustration, not a measurement. It feels stiff at first, on purpose, like training wheels. Most couples loosen the script as the habit sets in. And after Mia has been heard, they switch, and it's Dev's turn.
Try a ten-minute version tonight
Pick something small, like a frustration from this week, not the big fight. Take turns, about five minutes each. Whoever is listening uses these three lines.
Mirror
If I got that right, you're saying ... Is there more?
Repeat what you heard as closely as you can. Ask if there's more until there isn't.
Validate
That makes sense, because ...
This isn't agreeing. It's saying that from where they stand, it adds up.
Empathize
I imagine you feel ... Is that right?
Name the feeling you imagine, and check it. Then switch roles.
One person talks and the other doesn't defend, fix or add their own view. If a topic gets heated, or either of you feels afraid, stop and pick something smaller. That's what a therapist in the room is for.
What Imago couples therapy is like here
Weekly sessions, in person in Hermosa Beach or on video. Some couples prefer a concentrated start with a couples intensive.
- 01
A joint first session
We talk with both of you about your history, what's working and what each of you wants to change. We don't meet with one partner alone as part of couples work.
- 02
Learning the dialogue
Lisa teaches the mirror, validate and empathize sequence on small topics first, like a frustration from the week, so you're not learning the skill in the middle of your hardest fight.
- 03
Using it on the real thing
Then you bring the conversation you keep failing to have. Lisa coaches in the moment, slows things down and catches the defending before it takes over.
- 04
Practice at home, then the deeper layer
Short dialogues between sessions. As they hold, we look at the older stories each of you carries into the room. Where a reaction keeps taking over, Lisa can bring in IFIO, our parts-based couples work.
We don't take sides. The relationship is the client, and both of you should leave a session feeling heard.
Imago vs. Gottman and IFIO
We offer all three, and many couples use more than one. Here's how they differ in practice, so you can tell us what sounds right.
| Gottman Method | IFIO | Imago | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Main question | What are you doing in conflict and connection, and what works better? | Which parts of each of you take over when you fight? | Are you actually hearing each other, and what does this fight keep touching? |
| In session | An assessment, then coaching specific skills during real conversations | Each partner learns to notice their reactive parts and speak for them, not from them | A structured dialogue: mirror, validate, empathize |
| Often chosen when | Fights escalate, you've drifted into roommates, or you want concrete tools | The same reaction keeps hijacking you, or old hurts drive the conflict | One or both of you feels unheard and you talk past each other |
| Between sessions | Short, specific exercises | Noticing your parts in the moment | Practicing the dialogue at home |
On the evidence: research on Imago therapy is limited. A few small studies found couples reported more empathy and satisfaction afterward, but there are no large trials, and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) has more outcome research. We use Imago for what it does well, which is slowing a conversation down so each person is heard.
Who does the Imago work
Lisa Chen, LMFT
Lisa is Imago trained and Gottman Method Level 2 trained, and she leads the practice's couples work. She trains and supervises our associates in couples therapy with Clinical Director Bob Northcutt, LMFT. If you want Imago specifically, ask for Lisa at your free consult.
Everyone in our group sees couples, and the consult is where we match you with the right person and approach. Meet our couples therapists
What Imago couples therapy costs
- First consultation, 20 minutes
- Free
- Couples session with Lisa Chen, LMFT
- $425–500
- Couples intensive with Lisa Chen
- $650 an hour
- Couples sessions with our other therapists
- $180–325
We're out of network. Superbills are provided through the client portal, and many employers' PPO plans reimburse a portion, so it's worth a call to your plan. More on fees and FAQs.
Where we offer Imago therapy
Online, anywhere in California
Secure video from your own couch, from the Bay Area to Orange County, Sacramento to San Diego. Practicing the dialogue at home, in your own chairs, can help it stick.
Online therapy in California
Hermosa Beach
2615 Pacific Coast Hwy, Suite 326. Parking on site and an elevator. Close to Manhattan Beach, Redondo Beach, El Segundo and Torrance.
In-person therapy in Hermosa BeachCouples therapy nearby: Los Angeles · Manhattan Beach · Redondo Beach · Torrance
Imago therapy questions
Still deciding? A free 20-minute call is the easiest way to see if we're a fit, and it's fine if only one of you makes the call.
What is Imago relationship therapy?
Imago relationship therapy is a form of couples therapy developed by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. It starts from the idea that frustrations in a relationship often echo older hurts, usually from childhood. Couples learn a structured conversation, the Imago Dialogue, where each partner is heard and understood before anyone tries to solve anything.
What are the steps of the Imago Dialogue?
The Imago Dialogue has three core moves. The listener mirrors what they heard, as closely as they can, and asks "Is there more?" Then they validate: "That makes sense, because..." Then they empathize: "I imagine you feel..." Partners ask permission before starting and switch roles afterward. It feels formal at first, on purpose.
How is Imago different from the Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method is skills-based: an assessment, then specific tools for fighting and repairing, built on four decades of research. Imago focuses on how you listen, using a structured dialogue, and on the old hurts a conflict can touch. Some couples use both. Lisa Chen is Imago trained and Gottman Method Level 2 trained.
Does Imago therapy work?
Research on Imago therapy is limited. A few small studies found couples reported more empathy and satisfaction afterward, but there are no large trials, and Emotionally Focused Therapy has more outcome research. Couples often value its structure for slowing conversations down. Results depend on both partners practicing between sessions.
Who is Imago therapy a good fit for?
It tends to suit couples who talk past each other, feel unheard, or keep having the same fight. It asks both partners to listen without defending, so it isn't the right starting point if one partner is afraid of the other. If there is violence or coercive control, we'll say so at the consult.
Is an Imago-trained therapist the same as a Certified Imago Therapist?
No. Imago training has levels, and certification is a further step with its own requirements. Lisa Chen is Imago trained. If you specifically want a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist, the directory at Imago Relationships Worldwide lists them. Our other couples therapists work from other approaches, and your consult will match you.
What happens in the first Imago sessions?
We begin with a joint session about your history and what each of you wants. We don't meet with one partner alone as part of couples work. Then Lisa teaches the dialogue on small topics first, coaches you through it live, and gives you short practice between sessions before you take on the bigger conversations.
Do you offer Imago therapy online, and what does it cost?
Yes. Lisa Chen offers Imago couples therapy online anywhere in California and in person in Hermosa Beach. Sessions with Lisa are $425 to $500, and intensives are $650 an hour. Our other couples therapists charge $180 to $325. Your first 20-minute consultation is free.